disclaimer: this is the personal journey that led me to my first commission - I’m still fairly ‘new’ to the industry and my projects are still in development, but I have reflections I feel are worth sharing and I conclude with a few little nuggets 🫶🏾
Let’s rewind back. As a child, I’d always been drawn to writing stories - from flashy episode ideas for my favourite Disney shows; to personalised spin-offs of the books my friends and I were obsessed with; to cinematic music video concepts for songs I adored. What then naturally followed, was me applying to Film and TV courses for university. I got accepted into a Television Production course in London - yay!!
Except, I responded with panic and doubt, rather than pride and joy.
Am I pigeon-holing myself into an unrealistic career path? Who am I to think I can make it in film and TV?
So, being the frail little doubtful teenager I was, I backed out of that course and ended up studying the much broader Media and Communications degree to open up my options. Luckily, I enjoyed it.
During those 3 years, most of my uni friends were studying business, law, marketing etc; and early on I’d received a grade on an essay - a 1st! I was really proud of myself, sharing the news with friends in my halls. Some joined me in excitement, but one guy’s response was unimpressed sarcasm: ‘oh, you study law?’. He was essentially saying a good grade in my degree is not worthy of respect. WELP.
So, being the frail little doubtful teenager I was, I chose to pivot. I thought, maybe I can scratch my storytelling itch with a career in advertising? Some adverts are iconic, and a corporate job will be more respectable chasing. I decided I would pick all the marketing-related modules in my degree, tailor my dissertation towards marketing, and study a Masters in marketing. So I did.
In the first term of my Masters however, I came across a video that changed my life. It was Jim Carrey telling the story of his father, summarised below:
‘My father could’ve been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that was possible for him. He instead chose a ‘safe’ job as an accountant.
Then when I was 12, he was let go of that ‘safe’ job.
The biggest lesson was that you can fail at what you don’t want to do, so you might as well take a chance at what you love.’
I was being Jim Carrey’s father. I was choosing a route I perceived as ‘safe’, without even attempting the route I perceived as ‘unrealistic’. I was making major life choices completely driven by fear.
Not anymore.
So, being the empowered growing woman I was, I set out to make my dreams a reality.
delusion phase
This was the fun part.
I read every personal development book I could get my hands on. I listened to every podcast on people who ‘made it’ and how. I watched every Youtube video on Law of Attraction and manifesting dreams. I coated my life in positive affirmations and built an echo chamber to house my delusional tunnel vision towards my goals. In this safe space I built, my role models were everywhere and fed me their words for breakfast. People who did it 100 years ago, people who did it this year. People with goals like mine, people with goals far from mine. People who looked like me, people who didn’t.
My spirit was constantly high. Anything I came across that contrasted with the new belief system I was building was met with immediate dismissal and avoidance.
I wrote every day on my commute to and from my big corporate post-grad job in advertising. Despite having a plethora of story ideas, I had only one completed script at this point and I was convinced that this script was EVERYTHING. It was a comedy-drama inspired by my university experience as a naive innocent black girl, following all the chaos and transformation her and her best friends experience in those pivotal 3 years. I poured all my energy into this one pilot. It was my Chewing Gum and I was going to be the next Michaela Coel. I was so filled with purpose and power, launching myself at every opportunity that glanced my way, even when I was in no way prepared.
I had a LOT of audacity. My self-belief had completely boomeranged away from the frail little doubtful teenager with no self-esteem. This one script I was obsessed with ended up being my writing university. I’d find writers on Twitter and send my script to them for notes. I’d apply to every competition and scheme I saw. Every piece of feedback transformed my script into stronger art. I learnt so much about turning a good idea into a great script, with better formatting, story structure, pacing. For each new competition I applied to, I created and honed more and more supporting material: pitch deck, character profiles, story bible etc.
At this point, I was convinced that I was oven-ready, I just needed to get my writing into the hands of the people at the top and they’d LOVE it. One thing I believed then (and still believe now): to get your film / TV script produced, it doesn’t need to be the greatest, most ground-breaking, original script in the world. It just needs to get in front of someone who wants to make that script, with enough power and resource to do so.
I’d share my script with everyone I didn’t know. I knew my confidence could only exist in the bubble I had created for it, and if I began sharing my goals and writing too early with people who weren’t in that world, who didn’t believe it to be possible, my bubble would pop. So Writer Funmi existed on the pages, in the emails, in the networking events; and Advertising Funmi existed the rest of the time. This double life served me well.
These worlds finally started to cross as Writer Funmi began gaining enough credibility to back these big dreams: getting longlisted for BBC Writers Room, getting amazing feedback from writing peers, gaining valuable mentorships on things like O2 GoThinkBig. I felt more comfortable sharing my ‘side hustle’ with people in my life, even in the workplace. One day in the office, the Head of Commissioning at Sky came in to give a talk about their slate of upcoming content and the opportunities this brings for advertisers, as well as how they’re looking to increase their scope of new writing talent for expanding future content. Writer Funmi appeared. As Mr Commissioner was heading out the room after the talk, I knew I needed to talk to him. He was already talking to me the moment he mentioned ‘new writing talent’. By grabbing him after the talk, I managed to get a meeting with Sky’s Head of Comedy. My audacity worked!
Well, kind of. Not much materialised from that as my idea wasn’t very ‘Sky’ (which I knew tbh, it was more E4 or BBC3 back then but at the time I thought ‘meh, you never know’) yet I still felt amazing. I’d now built a resilience that saw the positive in every experience, and I was just proud that I’d asked for a meeting and got one. A senior decision-maker in the industry had read my work! I met up with a few other working writers for a coffee too - just because I asked. You’d be surprised how many people say ‘yes’ when you ask. I loved soaking in their advice, hearing their vastly different journeys, and feeling so liberated by the abundance of opportunity out there. I felt so strongly that there was space for us all to win - my stories serve my audience, the way someone else’s stories serve another, and so on and so forth. Everyone who made it whose work felt similar to mine, was walking so that I could run; they were providing further evidence for the decision-makers that would eventually see the value in my work and it’s place in the world.
Lockdown came and I wrote more scripts, both alone and collaborating virtually with other writers I’d met. By now, most people knew about Writer Funmi, because I’d gained enough credibility and resilience to feel confident sharing my goals without wavering. I no longer felt so attached to the opinions of others. Of course I still cared, but I gave different weight to different opinions: acknowledging everyone’s individual belief system of what is possible is not an objective truth.
you’d be surprised how you feel when you actually manifest your dreams
In my routine round of competition and scheme applications, I came across a film pitch competition - the first of it’s kind, most likely due to lockdown. At this point, all the actual scripts I’d written were 30-min comedies, but this asked for a 2-page pitch and a few pages of sample script for a feature film idea. I shuffled through my stash of writing ideas, and landed on a star-crossed lovers rom-com in a setting inspired by a music festival I’d attended the summer before (my writing is often inspired by real life). I prepped the pitch and sent.
A few weeks later, I received an email. With the volume of things I would regularly apply to, I’d managed to avoid getting too attached. But when I read the words ‘you’re one of our finalists’, I was doing somersaults. Me?! Frail little doubtful teenage Funmi couldn’t fathom.
The next stage, us finalists were paired with script editors to develop a 10-page treatment for our feature films. That was the first time I’d worked with a script editor, and the first time you begin working with a script editor will make you believe you have the writing ability of an infant goat. Apparently the world of my story was strong, but none of the story itself made sense… Okay why was I even shortlisted then??? Fast forward a few weeks and my film idea was stronger than ever. The first time you finish working with a script editor will have your work finally reach the writing quality that you were convinced your first draft possessed.
A few more weeks pass, and Advertising Funmi continues to go about her life, distracting herself with client calls and excel docs. It was hard for me to not be attached to the outcome this time.
Then finally, I got the email.
‘Congratulations.’
Omg… I won. I WON!!!
My first feeling was excitement - the somersaults were back.
My next feeling was fear. Pressure. Have I made it? What if I become really successful? All the things I’d convinced myself I was destined for. Am I even ready for that?! What if I have haters? Bad reviews? What if the final product doesn’t look how I envisioned? What if it’s great and no one watches it? What if everyone watches it and they don’t like it and I don’t like it because it didn’t end up the way I wanted and now I’m a one-hit wonder without the one-hit?!??!??
Lol, the spirals were real.
I had to remember the quote that got me started in the first place: ‘you can fail at what you don’t want to do, so you may as well take a chance at what you love’. I’d come so far.
Making a film takes time, and I told myself I can use this time to address all those concerns, do the best writing I can do, then trust all the other amazing professionals to do their jobs well too. My black characters can provide more roles for new talent. My story filled with love and connection will inspire the right people, even if not everyone. This project can be everything I desire it to be, or better. But no matter what happens, I’ll be grateful for the opportunity, the connections, the learnings, as well as the chance to actually be paid for my writing. Endlessly grateful.
So, being the empowered, grateful young woman I was; I signed the contract for my first commissioned script. I was finally a working screenwriter! And I’ve worked alongside this production company ever since. That commission led me to my second commission, helped me gain a mentorship which led to my agent, and more. My projects are still in development, and the journey has seen ups and downs, but I continue to be grateful and excited for how my projects will unfold, and the future projects I’ll be a part of.
The timelines of development and production are slightly longer than I expected, but I’m staying glass-half-full and learning. I believe we should become the person who deserves the things we want, and in the few years since achieving that commission, I feel like I’ve become a much better writer, more grounded in my goals rather than delusional, and better prepared mentally for whatever may or may not come after development, production and release. I needed that time. I’m glad I was gifted it.
key things I’ve learned in the process so far
Don't ever let somebody tell you that you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream... You gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period.
- Christopher Gardner, Pursuit of Happyness
Dream big and protect your vision. The quote from the Pursuit of Happyness sums it up perfectly for me. Being blessed with a big dream is a wonderful thing. Be selective with who you share your goals with at first. Start your journey quietly as you build resilience.
Feed your confidence, competence and connections. Work on your craft regularly. Find inspiration and role models anywhere you can. Seek feedback and notes from the right people. Figure out how successful people think and act - pick what resonates and become the person that deserves the thing that you want.
The story you think is your strongest, might not be the one that gets you the commission. The script I spent years obsessing over wasn’t the one I ended up getting commissioned, and that’s more than okay. As writers we’re filled with so many stories and they hold different purposes. Just like me sharing this story here!
Dreaming is fun, doing can be intimidating. At first, you might be less prepared than expected when you actually start to touch the reality of your dream goals. To help avoid the trap, try your best to envision your dream with as much ‘normality’ as possible. When it’s on a pedestal, the cognitive dissonance is real.
Retain humility and reduce competition. You can be confident in your ability whilst refraining from unproductive comparison. I am not better than anyone because I have commissioned scripts in development, that person is not better because they have an award-winning film in the cinemas, that other person is not better because their unread script touches on an important topic. We all are just storytellers with stories. Art is very subjective, as is it’s importance to each individual that experiences it. It is made for very different purposes by very different people. I’m here for all of it. Believe in your work and find the people who believe in it too.
Grinding works, but burnout doesn’t. Honestly, my obsessive tunnel vision approach before gaining my first commission is worlds apart from my balanced, softer approach these days. Although I have no regrets, there was a lot of burnout I had to deal with juggling a full-time career whilst relentlessly pursuing my dreams. Make sure to take care of yourself in the process please. (More on that in a future post)
Lastly, you can fail at what you don’t want to do, so you might as well take a chance at what you love.
Thanks for reading to those who made it to the end of this novel. Again, I’m early in my journey, but I was keen to share reflections from this awkward in-between stage, since many people share only once they’ve fully ‘made it’, BAFTAs and all.
My journey is unique and one of many routes to screenwriting - there are many new opportunities and challenges that have arisen in the few years since. There’s still a lot of unknown for me but I feel so grounded and okay with whatever is meant for me. I’m proud of my progress so far and I’m just happy to be here ✌🏾
What are some things you’ve learnt in your own writing journey so far? I’d love to hear!
I hope to see you next week 🤎🌱
(p.s. can you tell my biggest note is that I’m always over-writing…)
Such an incredible achievement that can’t be overlooked with some very timely and true takeaways!